Amy Carmichael died a very long time ago. But last night I read about it in the biography written by Elisabeth Elliot about her. I didn't cry like I thought I was going to. But Amy's life really inspired me and gave me such hope- A life lived fully for the Lord is worth it. A life of sacrifice is worth it. Because Jesus Christ is worth it. The biography is over 350 pages long and it took me about 3 months to read I think. It summed up the life of an 80 something year old woman who loved Jesus since she was a youth. Who was taught at a young ago that the Lord was able to keep her from falling. That she was going to have to close her ears to all other voices that would lead her away from her Lord if she was going to follow Him. She left her whole life behind in England- forlough was never really even an option for her. That life was behind her and wherever the Lord called her was ahead. Family members died back home without her. Missionaries despised her in Asia. She actually believed God wanted Christians to love each other (can you imagine that?) and believed God was able to do it in her life and the lives of those around her.

Amy Carmichael loved God.
Seeing her life summed up in less than 400 pages does not give justice to the inner turmoil she faced in her lifetime, the loneliness, I'm sure at times, the sacrifice, the pain, the joys, the triumphs, the daily ins and outs of service. But it shows a beginning and an end. I like that. Because for me sometimes it really is hard to imagine that one day this world, this life, will truly end and I will see my Beloved face to face. The here and now is so often all I can see. Waking up, getting Grandmom up, making coffee, planting flowers, reading the Word, listening to teachings, going to church, Coatesville, facebook, family, food...these things are what seem so real to me right now and I cannot imagine an end to them all. But one day...truly one day it will end. It was so encouraging to read about a life...a life fully lived for the Lord.

I'm reading through Acts right now. I came to the story of Ananias and Sapphira. I guess I've never really compared myself to them- I mean, God killed them. He literally slew them down for their sin- and I've never done anything that bad, right? But I'm seeing more and more how much I was it to look like I've given my whole life over to God- when really I hold so much for myself. My time. My laziness. My personal space. My friends. My family. I just want to hold onto it all. I hold onto all of my fears of what God will actually do with my life if I give Him all. But daily I need to go to Him, and allow His perfect love to cast out all of my fear. He desires so much for me. And I want to want Him to have my all...He is so able.

Anyhow, I'll leave you with one last Amy Carmichael quote: (scene- end of her life on her death bed, in constant pain):
"Not relief from pain, not relief from weariness that follows, not anything of that sort at all, is my chief need. Thou, O Lord my God, art my need- Thy courage, Thy patience, Thy fortitude. And very much I need a quickened gratitude for the countless helps given every day" p. 365