time flies.
anyway, instead of being all grandmom nostalgic today, I'll post a link to something that super challenged me on the sr high retreat (did I even mention I went on that???) last weekend:


Holiness Before Happiness by A.W. Tozer


This is something that always is a struggle for me and I think a root in a lot of my anxiety. A lot of the time, I wake up everyday trying to pursue my (constitutional right of) happiness. But doesn't the Bible talk about those who seek their life will lose it? Honestly, I need my mind renewed everyday, because it's such a worldly mindset that has snuck into my life to pursue my own happiness. It can be really subtle too. I think we can do it in our devotions- look for things in the Word that make us "feel" good when really God is looking to purify our lives- so that we can have true happiness that is only found in Him. Joy. In the midst of fires. Joy that comes from being purified. From holy living. Yikes. But I struggle because I want to feel happy right now. I don't want to feel uncomfortable, or feel pain, or feel depressed, or feel sad...I want to feel happy. But faith is knowing that there is joy- and an eternal happiness that comes from holiness. "In Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore" (Psalm 16:11). 

"And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying:

   ³ “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.   ⁴ “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.   ⁵ “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.   ⁶ “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.   ⁷ “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.   ⁸ “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.   ⁹ “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.   ¹⁰ “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.   ¹¹ “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. ¹² Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you." Matthew 5:2-11