Well, yesterday was hard.
Remember the woman I took care of overnights in the summer three days a week? Anyway, she has Parkinson's and Dementia and is the mother of someone I know from church. Well, yesterday they needed a sitter for the day and since I have no permanent job yet, I said I was available.
And I don't regret doing it- but it was way harder than I thought it was going to be.
People try to warn you about these things- flashbacks, grieving, it hitting you like a ton of bricks- but I keep thinking- I can totally handle this whole grieving thing...
Well, it's needless to say, I can't. First thing I had to do that morning was make this woman some oatmeal...
Well, have any of you started crying over oatmeal before? yeah...
anyway, it just was so similar. Everything. The oatmeal, the Activia, reading the paper, the wheelchairs, the depends, the potty chair, the cleanser, even the mirrors on the wall in their dining room.

Anyway, the Lord is good! My friend Hannah sent me a text within an hour of the oatmeal incident. It basically said that I was on her heart and she was praying for me that day.
And I needed to know in that minute- He saw my grief, He saw my hurt, He saw my pain- and He wanted to let me know. So He put me on Hannah's heart, she followed the Lord's prompting to text me, and she was a vessel of His love for me.
And so after that, the day really went fine and I'm thankful because I thought I was supposed to watch her again today, but I actually didn't and I think that's the Lord. Too much- too soon.
I'm reminded- He is El Roi- the God who sees. How amazing!!!
"Thou God seest me" Genesis 16:13