A Life After Death

Well, yesterday was hard.
Remember the woman I took care of overnights in the summer three days a week? Anyway, she has Parkinson's and Dementia and is the mother of someone I know from church. Well, yesterday they needed a sitter for the day and since I have no permanent job yet, I said I was available.
And I don't regret doing it- but it was way harder than I thought it was going to be.
People try to warn you about these things- flashbacks, grieving, it hitting you like a ton of bricks- but I keep thinking- I can totally handle this whole grieving thing...
Well, it's needless to say, I can't. First thing I had to do that morning was make this woman some oatmeal...
Well, have any of you started crying over oatmeal before? yeah...
anyway, it just was so similar. Everything. The oatmeal, the Activia, reading the paper, the wheelchairs, the depends, the potty chair, the cleanser, even the mirrors on the wall in their dining room.

Anyway, the Lord is good! My friend Hannah sent me a text within an hour of the oatmeal incident. It basically said that I was on her heart and she was praying for me that day.
And I needed to know in that minute- He saw my grief, He saw my hurt, He saw my pain- and He wanted to let me know. So He put me on Hannah's heart, she followed the Lord's prompting to text me, and she was a vessel of His love for me.
And so after that, the day really went fine and I'm thankful because I thought I was supposed to watch her again today, but I actually didn't and I think that's the Lord. Too much- too soon.
I'm reminded- He is El Roi- the God who sees. How amazing!!!
"Thou God seest me" Genesis 16:13

So my grandma's got some cold/cough/wheezy issue she's been dealing with the last couple days.
Well anyway, I just heard on the news that :
1. new research shows tylenol can make people with ashtma have issues
2. new research shows air freshners cause people with ashtma to have issues
I think my caregiving life is just a lose-lose situation. Tylenol= helps with pain, arthritis. Tylenol= asthma. Air freshners= air free of poopy diaper smell. Air freshener= ashtma.
Great.
Caregiver Fail.

In other news this verse really is a breath of fresh air: check it out- "And we know that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know Him who is true; and we are in Him who is true, in His Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life." 1 John 5:20 Wow.

So I've never really used that "next blog" button at the top of Blogger to check out other blogs- I mean, every blog I read is stimulating enough, but since it's 12:06 at night and I have a paper to write, it would make perfect sense that since no one has updated their blog in the last hour I'm going to have to find different one's to procrastinate by reading...
Well, the next ten blogs that it led me to were all of these parenting blogs- like for all of these mom's who have so much free time on their hands raising their three toddlers to blog and I was almost mocking them when I had this revelation...
I am them...
but with my 79 year old toddler...yikes
I need a life...