A Life After Death

blogging

So once upon a time I went to Africa. I had just graduated highschool and was going with my Sr High youth group- trusted friends, mentors, pastors. Toward the end of our trip we were going to be staying at a Wildlife Resort and going on a safari. I overheard my friend Brianna making a comment to our youth pastor Brian about (what I thought I heard were) the "mechanical animals" we were going to be seeing. This absolutely made so much sense to me because I had already questioned why our leaders would take us to on a dangerous safari with real live dangerous animals- I mean, we were in AFRICA after all= danger! Once my friends heard that I thought that the animals were going to be mechanical (like robotic, if you don't know what I mean by "mechanical"), the new hobby of this "missions trip" team was to play mind games with me. Who do I trust? One minute, "yes, Tif, the animals are mechanical- you seriously thought we'd take you on a safari with real live lions?" and the next minute "Tiffany, honestly, they are real animals!" You can imagine my utter despair as this goes on for hours...anyway, finally at dinner, I get my friend Christa, who I knew I could trust, to tell me the truth- yes, we were going to see REAL lions, elephants, hippos on this safari.

So, the great justice of this whole ordeal came when we were riding in our completely-exposed-to-the-forces-of-nature-jeeps (weaponless, we later found out) and basically stall out in front of two young male lions who were both attempting to woo a young lioness. While everyone else's hearts were beating out of their chest in fear, I was living in some alternative universe- I literally had no fear. Honestly, there wasn't a concern in my mind about being mauled to death in the African savannah. The reality of the situation just was not real to me at all.

And so, I was reading Revelation 4 this morning describing the throne room of Jehovah God and I was just like- why is this not shaking me to the core? And I realized, its because I have such a dulled sense of reality. I live in an age where special effects and technology have made it possible to have a 3-D Television in my home (if I wanted and could afford it!) and put on a pair of glasses that basically could make a lion jump out of the screen at me. I can see Niagra Falls in the comfort of my own home. I can go down to the Franklin Institute and lay on my back and look at a ceiling and travel through the human body if I really wanted to. And so when I'm truly experiencing Niagra Falls itself, the power of it, the reality of it just isn't what it should be. It should be awe inspiring- and in a sense it is- but ugh, how this technology has dulled me to what it should really produce in me. And that's how I felt when I read Revelation 4- this description- John truly experienced and tried to describe to the best of his ability what He was seeing when he faced the throne room of God. And one day I'm going to experience that. And I want it to stop me right now and make me declare: "Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created."

ambulance

Too much birthday

9:25:00 AM

You know it's an exciting birthday party when you have to call 911, right?

Anyway, my grandmom turned 81 on Thursday and we celebrated by eating salmon and chocolate cake- a few of my grandmom's favorite things!

So Saturday night we invited over some of my dad's side of the family who, over the last few years, have grown closer to my grandmom than her side of the family since her daughters and their kids live out of state (very different than my dad's insane Irish-catholic family with the 30 grandkids who are basically over my house every other weekend)...

Anyway we were having a great time partying it up with lunch meat and cheese and crackers (a few of my grandmom's other favorite things!), when we moved onto dessert. I fed her some her famous cream puff cake and had given her a bite of coconut cream pie when I look over and notice her not breathing and her eyes all unfocused and what not.

Well of course my grandmom would choke in the middle of her birthday party!

Anyway, my dad (recalling the incident a couple of weeks ago) sprang into action and pulled her out of the wheelchair (with my uncle grabbing her legs and getting tangled in her birthday balloon that was tied to her chair!!!) Next thing I know, my aunt is screaming "Oh God no!", my other grandmother is throwing Lourde's Holy Water on her (while her and my grandpop continue to eat dinner), and we're screaming for the kids to leave the room because my grandmom is like dead on the floor and it didn't look like she was coming back this time...
I, with my intensive medical training from my responding to emergencies class, go to grab my CPR mask (which totally makes sense when someone is choking- not! there are many reasons I am not going for nursing), meanwhile my dad and mom have my grandmom laying on her side on the living room floor while April calls 911. I'm ready for them to bring the body bag when next thing you know my grandmom starts chewing...to wrap up this death defying tale, my grandmom lives on! The paramedics came just to check her out and the party continued (my grandmom did seem to have more life in her after that, though the rest of us were exhausted!)

And so we've learned that my grandmom really knows how to kill a party (que drum and cymbal corniness)

birthday

Happy Birthday Grandmom

11:54:00 AM

camp at old mill

Compassion

12:07:00 PM

As I've mentioned, I go up to Coatesville, PA on Thursday afternoons to help with an afterschool club for the inner city youth. We bus them about ten minutes from the city to a place called The Camp at Old Mill, started by a couple named Jack and Sue Crans and their family. Anyway, this ministry has been going on since before my time, but I seriously love this camp, this family and the other volunteers, and these kids. Anyway, I help with the jr high girls, but Mr. Jack teaches them. I've decided I get more out of these teaching than the girls do because seriously I am so blessed to sit under the teaching of this man of God who has given his whole life to serve God by serving the people of Coatesville.

Anyway, Mr. Jack recently took a trip to Angola Prison (really called Louisiana State Penitentiary) where, I think the statistic is that %85 of the men in there are there for life. What a sad, dark place that could be! But by the grace of God, a work has begun there and these men are presented the gospel of Jesus Christ. And also, these men have been given opportunities to serve the Lord and serve people through programs like Malachi Dad's and the hospice ministry (video below).

Mr. Jack met some of the men there, toured the entire facility, and came back to share with us and the girls about Compassion. Well go ahead and rip my heart out, Mr. Jack. First Mr. Jack asked us what compassion meant and the girls through out words like "feeling" and "love." And Mr. Jack shared with us the story of t he Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37 ) . He reminded us that feeling love for people wasn't enough- but it was putting that love into action that would make it compassion. Than he showed us a video on the hospice ministry of Angola Prison. Anyway, the inmates minister to the other inmates who are dying- changing their diapers, feeding them, washing them, sitting by their side while they take their last breath, and sharing the hope of the gospel.
What a picture. I can change my grandmom's diaper, no problem- but the diaper of a convicted murderer? What an act of compassion! What an act of love! Anyway, I was challenged- I can say I love people- I can say I love the people of Philadelphia, I can say I love my church, I can say I love my family- but if I see a need, and am able to do something to satisfy that need and do nothing- than how is that showing the compassion, the love of Jesus Christ my Lord??? Convicting, challenging, and hopefully life changing...how I long to have Jesus' compassion for people. Jesus saw needs and did something about it. Jesus was surrounded by hoards of smelling dirty people who followed Him around all the time, and He loved them, spoke God's words to them, healed and ministered to them- even when He was tired and busy! Oh to be like Jesus...

One Last Shot: A story of redemption
- Watch more Videos at Vodpod.

On a totally random note- remember when I mentioned Dr. William Allan Dean's book The Names of God? Anyway, guess who signed the charter when The Camp at Old Mill was started????? Yes, W. A. Dean! woah, small world, eh?

ambulance

No Heroic Measures.

3:18:00 PM

So God's done like probably a million things in my life since I last updated- but everything is so scattered all over the place that I'll wait to update.

But since Grandmom almost died this weekend I figured I should post for posterity's sake:

This weekend has been a blur- super super busy.
We got a surprise visit from my aunt (my mom's sister) and cousin from NJ Saturday morning and so at 8 am I was awoken to my mom saying my aunt was coming which meant I had to make grandmom, myself, and my house presentable= speed cleaning. So grandmom was pretty good- we set her out on the couch and she actually read through sale adds and wanted to buy jewelry for herself for Valentines Day and she wanted her diamond ring on (which she doesn't wear anymore because her hands are all clenched from her stroke and arthritis).

Than Saturday night I had some of my cousins (on my dad's side) over for a Valentine's party since our parents were going over their friends house for a Valentine's dinner. We played Valentine's and Doran theme "Win, Lose, or Draw" (its like Pictionary), Telephone Pictionary (it's like whisper down the lane but with pictures and words), and (in honor of my 14 year old cousin) Pin the Heart on Justin Bieber. It was fun and we ate way to much food and laughed the night away (typical Doran party)!

Pin the heart on Justin Bieber!

Anyway, my cousin Rachelle, who is a nurse was down from the Poconos and spent the night. So the next morning I went to church but my family had brought my grandmom out to the kitchen to enjoy our company and eat the breakfast that my brother Jeremiah had thrown together (Dorans really like food- weekend breakfasts are tradition!)

So I left them all to go to third service at my church and after church was going to see the play that the highschool was putting on (The Mouse that Roared- a hilarious political satire and romantic comedy!) with my friend Jenelle. We were walking to Wawa to get some lunch so our growling stomach's would not distract the cultured, theatre attending audience (though the smell of our jalapeno turkey wraps that we ate while watching surely did!) when my cell phone rings and I see that "Daddy-o" is calling-

The story goes- my grandmom was shoving into her mouth whatever my family put in front of her. When I had left that morning for church I had already fed her french toast and sausage. Apparently, as my family continued to sit and eat leftovers from the Valentines Party, my grandmom went about eating Cupcakes and Chips. But you see, lately I've been feeding my grandmom pureed food because she forgets to chew and swallow her food and also is missing about 75% of her teeth.

Anyway, Rachelle and my dad move into the living room to talk, while my sister Hailey plays on her laptop at the dining room table with grandmom. Next thing you know my mom notices my grandmom conked out sleeping at the table, which is pretty normal. Hailey comments on how grandmom was "snoring" which we find out was actually "gurgling" because the poor woman was CHOKING!!!
Anyway, they wheel her into the living room and my cousin takes the pulse of this unresponsive 80 year old and my family tries to decide if she's just finally dying or what is going on. We have my grandmom on a self proclaimed "hospice" which is whatever we want it to be. We don't have any nurses or aides coming out to see her, never call the doctor, and avoid the hospital at all costs. So she's been doing good since last July. And we're basically like- when the Lord takes her He takes her and we're not trying to stretch out her life anymore. No heroic measures. Do not Resuscitate.

Anyway, her pulse was good, but she was turning blue so obviously something was going on. Had she had a heart attack? They call 911 and they sat her wheelchair up (they had reclined it to check her out) and she starts puking! Apparently she'd been choking or had like vomitted in her throat and like started asphyxiating! Anyway, once she puked they laid her on the floor and she got her color back and started coming back to herself. Actually, she wanted to eat more!
So they sent to ambulance away after they took her vital signs and grandmom lives another day!
And I also got to still see my play, eat lunch with my friend, and go out to sushi with my sister Hailey's friend and go prayer at church that night! Successful weekend, I would say.

Anyway, its so weird to think that I almost got a phone call that my grandmom had died. Literally, we were really close to losing her. Sometimes I'm like, Lord why do you keep her alive? And it stirs me on to take advantage of this season- God has given me a ton of time to spend with Him and pray during the day. I don't have to work right now. I can go to Coatesville on Thursdays and spend time praying with friends and working with Sr High and going to church like every night of the week. But my life is going to be like this forever and I want to take advantage of all God has for it while I'm in it. I don't want to waste this time!...but who knows maybe my grandmom really will live another 20-30 years like she says she will...I wouldn't put it past her!