A Life After Death: October 2008

apron

Today is a splendid day. It is snowing. I know- crazy! It's autumn! I mean, we usually don't get any snow until at least after Christmas. And yet. It is snowing. And the Phillies are going to win the World series (which i keep mistakingly calling the "home series" much to my families amusement- also, my brother tricked me into thinking there were 12 innings in the "home series" and I looked very stupid and was the butt of my familie's joke as I pridefully told my sister how I always knew there were 12 innings...well, they were waiting for me to be surprised when the game ended- with the phillie's obviously winning- after 9 innings...too bad it was delayed by the rain and they revealed thier little trick to me!)

Today I made cranberry and walnut muffins. mmm. Cranberries are my new friends- i love the spinach and cranberry salad that i found in my better homes and gardens magazine. My grandmom loves it too. And mmm...I will never forget eating Cranberry sauce with Erin and Amee and Hannah in England toward the end of the semester. What lovely times.

But my post today is about my Love.

By night on my bed I sought Him whom my soul loveth: i sought him, but I found him not.

I will rise now and go about the city in the streets, and in the broad ways I will seek him whom my soul loveth: I sought Him, but I found Him not.

The watchmen that go about the city found me: to whom I said "Saw ye Him whom my soul loveth?"

It was but a little that I passed from them, but I found Him whom my soul loveth: I held Him and I would not let Him go...

Songs of Solomon 3:1-4

I've loved these verses the past couple weeks.

Because the Lord brought me back to my first love. I've strived this year. Strived and strived in my own sin and filthiness and disobedience. In my own works and failurs. And yet. The Lord loved me. He redeemed me, though I was redeemed once and for all years ago, I feel as if He redeemed me again. And renewed my love. He reminded me of who I am without Him- dust. filthy rags. everything perverted and disgusting.

And yet.

and yet.

He loves me.

He loves me!

Hallelujah. I am so glad. That He loves me.

And so I cannot but love Him.

And I do.

And I cannot but serve Him and draw near to Him- there is nothing else in this life that I would rather do.

Though I am so often blind. And my heart goes a whoring. And I am such an unfaithful bride.

He is so faithful to me.

And I went to visit upon her the days of Baalim, wherein she burneth incense to them, and she decked herself in earrings and jewels, and she went after other lovers, and forgat me, saith the Lord.

Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfortably unto her.

And I will give her her vineyards from thence, and the valley of Achor for a door of hope: and she shall sing there, as in the days of her youth, and as i the day when she came up out of the land of Egypt.

And it shall be at that day, saith the Lord, that thou shalt call me Ishi (my husband); and shalt call me no more Baali (my master)?

For I will take away the names of Baalim out of her mouth, and they shall no more be remembered by thier name.

Hosea 2:13-17

ANd I will betroth thee unto me for ever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgement, and in lovingkindness, and in mercies. I will betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the Lord. Hosea 2:19-20

Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed, neither be thou confounded, for thou shalt not be put to shame: for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of they widowhood anymore.

For Thy maker is thy Husband; the Lord of hosts is HIs name; and the Redeemer, the Holy one of Israel; the God of the whole earth shall he be called.

For the Lord shall call thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused, saith the Lord. Isaiah 54:4-6

dementia

Craziness

1:36:00 AM

Well...
the other day I went to sit down to update you all, when I looked out the window and Nanny was taking out the garbage. 78. caneless. hunched over. lugging a huge bag of trash. across our lawn (which really isn't small). annoying!

So I figured I should list, for posterity's sake, some of the latest crazy things she's done...
She's gotten more consistently crazy (as in...it's not as come and go- the ratio of sanity to insanity has become drastically more on the side of insanity)...so here we go:

Coupons: aye aye aye...don't even get me started. We must go shopping 24-7...i'm not kidding. when she sees a coupon we must immediately go to the store or else I won't hear the end of it. But that's not the craziness that involved coupons that I mean to speak of. It's what she does with her coupons.
1st, last week I opened the fridge and next to the milk and eggs were laying a pile of coupons...I found that odd.
What I found odder was when she started pressing buttons of the T.V. She was holding her coupons and typing in buttons that would make the food magically appear..well..at least in her world it would have worked. She quit after I asked her what in the world she was doing. I laughed.
The oddest was definitely when I caught her cooking them in the microwave- a pile of coupons...in the microwave...for five minutes...why didn't I think that that would cause the food to appear? honestly- how could i have been so näive to think that that doesn't work?

So yeah.
The other things is that she's begun...um...wandering.
The other week, I was in the kitchen broiling salmon. My dad was watching tv in the living room with my grandmom. I assumed she'd gone to clean her bedroom when I went out there and it was just my dad. Then I went to call her to dinner...and um...she wasn't there. Or upstairs. or downstairs...or in the yard...uh oh.

And so we all chose a neighbor and scoured the neighborhood. I found her. coming back "from cvs"...welll...actually, she hadn't made it to cvs...since it's like miles away...and wasn't even in the direction she was going (with her purse and jacket, walking in the rain in my neighbors back yard)...ugh! we should have figured it out when we saw cars driving slowly down the road.

So my dad put bolts up at the tops of our doors...but she noticed them and pulled up a stool to open them to take out the trash.

Well...that's all i can write on this late at night
on another note, the old woman i used to watch with alzheimers got put into a nursing home...sad...but I know how hard it is and her daughter had taken care of her for a long time...it's a rough job. I always wonder how long we'll be able to do it and how bad she'll get. She plans on living another 15 years you know...ugh

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My Love

Craziness

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