Well, "my month" was up on Friday. I did mention that, right? That I felt like the Lord used my father to tell me to wait a month and not accept any or job hunt for a month. So I took a literal month (24th January-24th February) and turned down jobs and prayed and got stuff done (such moving into grandmom's room, moving Jeremiah back home, cleaning and organizing with the help of my dear friend, catching up with people, doing odd jobs like working randomly for my friend's paper good delivery company, taking care of that woman I used to work for, cleaning a house, and other randomness).
And so Friday I still really did have peace about the Lord's leading and that something will come up or He'll make it clear what I'm supposed to do. Anyway, Sunday afternoon I was over a friend's house and she mentioned that they were opening an Impact Thrift Store near the church. Literally, I almost jumped out of my seat. That is where I want to work. From the moment she mentioned it I couldn't stop thinking about it. Thrift store hours are awesome (not too early/ not too late and closed on Sundays!) The environment- it's basically a Christian company but not. Which is perfect because, to be honest, I've never worked in a non-Christian environment, but I don't feel like the Lord has me working somewhere right now that only has Christians. He wants me to be salt and light and I'm never in the world enough to do it. So I think this would be such a great balance/ transition for me. It's a non-profit company that donates it's proceeds to charity's and ministries so that they don't have to spend all their time fund-raising and not being able to do the ministry that they are called to do because they don't have the money.
Anyway, I mentioned it to some people Sunday night, and a friend mentioned that our bookstore manager used to manage an Impact and so I ran to talk to him and he told me he'd call the person who runs the company and let them know I was going to apply and he'd also be one of my references!
And so my friend Brooke (who just moved here from Cali) filled out my application and went on an adventure to the Hatboro location to hand it in. I enter the thrift store (that has the best deals in the universe) and see the employees wearing Impact aprons (i love aprons!!!) Anyway, while we were in there they had a customer come in who'd just gotten out of coma and they all were huddling around him bonding and talking. I just LOVED it. They actually care about their customers and their co-workers.
Also, I'm just so excited about the new location because it's near my church and through the ESL classes my desire to reach the community near Calvary has just been growing and growing.
So if you would like to pray for me- I really want this job- but I want the Lord's will most of all. Please pray if it's not His will the door would just slam shut, but if it is that it'd be clear and that He'd give me His strength to do it (I haven't 'worked' in four years now- my endurance is basically at 0).
On the grandmom grieving front- it's gotten more 'normal' now for her to be gone. I have had multiple strange dreams where she is 'mostly dead' but still here at the house because she has to finish dying- yeah, really odd. Anyway, I think of her everyday (which when people have always said that about their friends and relatives who died I didn't really believe them but I honestly do) and I do miss her, but I'm just so glad she's with the Lord and not suffering and is in Glory.
Found this little book/ tract when Jarreau and I were cleaning out my room and there's a poem in the back I really like
'None of Self and All of Thee'
Oh, the bitter pain and sorrow
that a time could ever be
When I proudly said to Jesus-
'all of self and none of Thee.'
Yet He found me; I beheld Him
Bleeding on th' accursed tree;
And my wistful heart said faintly,
'Some of self and some of Thee'
Day by day His tender mercy,
Healing, helping, full and free,
Brought me lower, while I whispered--
'Less of self, and more of Thee!'
Higher than the Highest Heavens,
Deeper than the deepest sea,
'Lord, Thy love at last has conquered:
None of self and ALL of Thee!'
-Theodore Monod
Update 2/22/12- We have received a report out of Iran that the Iranian courts have signed an execution order for brother Youcef Nadarkhani. At this point this is the only detail we know.
Based upon how the Iranian courts have acted in the past we do not know what to anticipate. Often they will execute people without any prior notice to attorney’s or family. The order has not been delivered to Youcef’s family and we do not know if they will allow another appeal. We also do not know if it has been approved by the Ayatollah who is the head of the Judiciary Sadegh Larijani.
At this point I ask that you be praying for his deliverance and that God would use this as an opportunity to declare to everyone that all power is given to the Lord Jesus Christ and resides in His Name. It is never too late for the Lord to bring deliverence.-http://presenttruthmn.com/blog/iran/execution-ordered-youcef/
Well, yesterday was hard.
Remember the woman I took care of overnights in the summer three days a week? Anyway, she has Parkinson's and Dementia and is the mother of someone I know from church. Well, yesterday they needed a sitter for the day and since I have no permanent job yet, I said I was available.
And I don't regret doing it- but it was way harder than I thought it was going to be.
People try to warn you about these things- flashbacks, grieving, it hitting you like a ton of bricks- but I keep thinking- I can totally handle this whole grieving thing...
Well, it's needless to say, I can't. First thing I had to do that morning was make this woman some oatmeal...
Well, have any of you started crying over oatmeal before? yeah...
anyway, it just was so similar. Everything. The oatmeal, the Activia, reading the paper, the wheelchairs, the depends, the potty chair, the cleanser, even the mirrors on the wall in their dining room.
Anyway, the Lord is good! My friend Hannah sent me a text within an hour of the oatmeal incident. It basically said that I was on her heart and she was praying for me that day.
And I needed to know in that minute- He saw my grief, He saw my hurt, He saw my pain- and He wanted to let me know. So He put me on Hannah's heart, she followed the Lord's prompting to text me, and she was a vessel of His love for me.
And so after that, the day really went fine and I'm thankful because I thought I was supposed to watch her again today, but I actually didn't and I think that's the Lord. Too much- too soon.
I'm reminded- He is El Roi- the God who sees. How amazing!!!
"Thou God seest me" Genesis 16:13
Remember the woman I took care of overnights in the summer three days a week? Anyway, she has Parkinson's and Dementia and is the mother of someone I know from church. Well, yesterday they needed a sitter for the day and since I have no permanent job yet, I said I was available.
And I don't regret doing it- but it was way harder than I thought it was going to be.
People try to warn you about these things- flashbacks, grieving, it hitting you like a ton of bricks- but I keep thinking- I can totally handle this whole grieving thing...
Well, it's needless to say, I can't. First thing I had to do that morning was make this woman some oatmeal...
Well, have any of you started crying over oatmeal before? yeah...
anyway, it just was so similar. Everything. The oatmeal, the Activia, reading the paper, the wheelchairs, the depends, the potty chair, the cleanser, even the mirrors on the wall in their dining room.
Anyway, the Lord is good! My friend Hannah sent me a text within an hour of the oatmeal incident. It basically said that I was on her heart and she was praying for me that day.
And I needed to know in that minute- He saw my grief, He saw my hurt, He saw my pain- and He wanted to let me know. So He put me on Hannah's heart, she followed the Lord's prompting to text me, and she was a vessel of His love for me.
And so after that, the day really went fine and I'm thankful because I thought I was supposed to watch her again today, but I actually didn't and I think that's the Lord. Too much- too soon.
I'm reminded- He is El Roi- the God who sees. How amazing!!!
"Thou God seest me" Genesis 16:13
Well. I'm "mostly" moved into my grandmom's old room (I still keep calling it grandmom's room, and I'm trying to break the habit.)It's like three times the size of my old room and I'm not sure what to do with myself. It looks totally different since we pulled the rug up and I'm just keeping the hardwood flooring that was underneath and I still need to paint and get an area rug and arrange things, but my bed right now is in the exact same spot that her bed always was. It's strange. I was sitting here on my bed looking at the background of my desktop- a picture of grandmom, micah, and I on her bed together and she has a birthday party hat on. I'm in the exact same spot, but life is soooo different.
Change is so weird. Just understanding that things will never be the same. I'm still clinging to Philippians 3. And I'm thankful also for Malachi 3:6- "I am the Lord, I do not change. Therefore you are not consumed, o sons of Jacob."
"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us." 1 John 4:7-12
Our ESL classes are starting up today! Please please please pray for us! We're way more organized this time, but we honestly don't know what to expect with this next session (the Philadelphia libraries have cut funding for their classes so we may be getting a ton of people...) and one of our lead teachers can no longer help with the class. Thankfully we're recruiting some of the local Bible college students who are going to school for a degree in teaching ESL, so Lord willing that will be a huge help to us! Also our missions director caught a bug and is kind of down for the count today. Please lift us up- we want to share the love of Christ most of all and doesn't 1 Corinthians 13 talk about giving all our goods to feed the poor but if we don't have love than it profits nothing- and it can just be a big ugly noise too! Anyway, I'm learning that LOVE actually flows from God (1 John) and we cannot love truly without Him (and His love is shown in that He gave His Son- so His Love in us should produce gospel sharing!) Anyway...rambling- I need to actually go pray about ESL now so I'll update on how it went later!
