"As the Father has loved Me, so have I loved you. Abide in my Love"

12:04:00 PM

John 15:9

I love my grandmom. The Lord has been so gracious to give me her in season. He knows I need visual, tangible things to learn His love. Because He formed me in my mother's womb and knows every hair on my head...He knows how to teach me.
Anyway, I was thinking about how much I love my grandmom. How I just love being with her. How, as annoying sometimes it is to wake up to a poopy diaper, how its honestly not a big deal, because I love her. And sometimes I love just laying next to her in bed, just cause she's there. And sometimes I love to curl her hair and put make up on her because I know she really loves it- even though she doesn't talk anymore. And  I feel compassion for her when she's hurting, when she has a giant infection oozing off her face. I feel compassion for her when she can't open her hands. And I would love to help her and fix her up. But I can't.
And my love for her really isn't dependent on her doing anything. Cause honestly, she just lays in bed all day. She sleeps alot. She doesn't really talk. She sometimes mumbles things. Every so often we get moments of loveliness where she says "oatmeal" or I'll be singing "you are my sunshine" and she says the word "grey" at the right part of the song. And I get so excited that I try to bring my cousin in to appreciate it...and she doesn't because this is the first time she's seen her grandmom in a year and its just not the same. Because an 81 year old woman saying "grey" isn't that exciting for most people.
But I love my grandmom.
And my love for her is really imperfect.
I'm confined to this lazy body of flesh where I oversleep and don't get to caring for her perfectly. And sometimes I'm busy running off to church and stuff so my mom has to feed her. I can't be home 24/7. I don't stay up all night for her.
And sometimes I'm moody. Sometimes I just don't feel like it. And I get annoyed. Sometimes I'm impatient and selfish.

But God loves perfectly.
He never sleeps or grows weary.
He has all power to heal, to bind up the broken, to comfort. His power is unlimited. omnipotent.
He's omnipresent.
He's omniscient- He knows the needs I don't even know I have.

His love for my grandmom is totally perfect- entirely independent of anything she does. He saved her though all she can do for Him is lay in bed all day.
My grandmom will never lead a small group.
She will never serve soup to the homeless.
She'll never go to Sunday night prayer.
She can't even read her Bible.
But God still loves her. He still saved her.
And His love for her is entirely equal to His love for me. So that means that His love for me is entirely independent of what I can do for Him.
What freedom.
And not freedom to sin.
Freedom to be loved. Completely. Entirely. Freely.
Jesus' love for me is entirely dependent on the Father's love for Him. That's how He's loved me. All I'm called to do is abide in that love. For my whole life to flow out of that. The Father loved the Son so much. They were One. For all eternity. And the Son left glory. The Son left glory...

"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?  As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,  nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:31-39

And I'm still learning. Learning to abide. To rest. To Be still. I still struggle. I still have moments where I feel like I'm just drowning. But I'm in the process. And He's a gentle gardener. A Good Shepherd. 

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