Every time you venture out in your life of faith, you will find something in your circumstances that, from a commonsense standpoint, will flatly contradict your faith. But common sense is not faith, and faith is not common sense. In fact, they are as different as the natural life and the spiritual. Can you trust Jesus Christ where your common sense cannot trust Him? Can you venture out with courage on the words of Jesus Christ, while the realities of your commonsense life continue to shout, “It’s all a lie”? When you are on the mountaintop, it’s easy to say, “Oh yes, I believe God can do it,” but you have to come down from the mountain to the demon-possessed valley and face the realities that scoff at your Mount-of-Transfiguration belief (see Luke 9:28-42). Every time my theology becomes clear to my own mind, I encounter something that contradicts it. As soon as I say, “I believe ’God shall supply all [my] need,’ ” the testing of my faith begins (Philippians 4:19). When my strength runs dry and my vision is blinded, will I endure this trial of my faith victoriously or will I turn back in defeat?
Faith must be tested, because it can only become your intimate possession through conflict. What is challenging your faith right now? The test will either prove your faith right, or it will kill it. Jesus said, “Blessed is he who is not offended because of Me” Matthew 11:6). The ultimate thing is confidence in Jesus. “We have become partakers of Christ if we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast to the end . . .” (Hebrews 3:14). Believe steadfastly on Him and everything that challenges you will strengthen your faith. There is continual testing in the life of faith up to the point of our physical death, which is the last great test. Faith is absolute trust in God— trust that could never imagine that He would forsake us (see Hebrews 13:5-6).

Oswald Chambers My Utmost for His Highest

 Yikes, am I ready for that???

Anyway, on another note- I love grandma
I never want to forget to update about her.
Really there is nothing new but she had a pretty sweet morning. We were cleaning out her closets last night because we realize we only dress her in a few things. It was weird. I wish I could still dress her up and take her to Red Lobster. But yeah, those days are over. 
Grieving is weird when someone hasn't actually died yet, you know?
But anyway, I dressed her today in some clothes instead of in her nightgown. My little brother Jesse put a flower in her hair. She called him Paul (because there was  "P" for Phillies on his shirt) and thought he came from Germany. She couldn't stop looking at or talking about him.
we had a photo shoot.
yeah, she looks a little frightened here

grandmom and "paul"