A Life After Death

Seriously, I'm so blessed. Thanks for everyone who is praying for us. Grandmom's had a very good couple days- eating well and drinking well again. She even sang "O tennanbaum" today! It's the little things! She's been very talkative and alert. The only worry right now is she really hasn't been peeing regularly, which may be because she barely ate or drank for a week, but she's drunk a good amount the last couple days and barely went the last couple days. So we'll see- but as of right now, Lord willing, she'll be doing okay and even good for Christmas. So I'm very thankful.

In other news, my grandmom got a 2nd Zebra Finch for Christmas from my mom, and I think this one is a female...baby zebra finches? uh oh.... Also, she's speaking, and I asked her what she wanted to name them and she said "Jim and Alice" (my grandpop's dead sister and brother-in-law!) which was super random.

Our cat has also planted itself in grandmom's room recently, which is different... We're kinda nervous cause we've heard of a nursing home where they have this cat that plants itself in rooms of patients who are dying because it just can sense that they are going...but the cat could also just really like grandmom and the zebra finches!

Anyway, it really doesn't feel like Christmas is coming- but it is and hopefully it'll be a nice quiet (as quiet as my family could possibly be!) holiday. The Lord is so good to me and my family.

My sister and I visited her on Christmas. We played Christmas charades and sang "O Tennanbaum."
My grandmom survived that Christmas and miraculously came home in January, and began walking, talking, singing, laughing, and was back to her old crazy self- healthy- but demented.

Since then Grandma and I have celebrated every Christmas, getting ourselves a tree, making a happy little home in our part of the house.

Last Christmas, we took my grandmom over my other grandparents on Christmas Eve. She could no longer walk because of her dislocated hip. My dad carried her into their house and sat her in the recliner. We were all together eating ham sandwiches. She wanted to go home. My grandparents shared a little wine with her. We had a lovely evening. Christmas Day she was incredible. I hadn't seen her so good in forever. She knew who she was and sort of who we were and where she was. She ate prime rib. It was a beautiful day.

This Christmas: my grandmom hasn't eaten in days. Nothing more than a little glass of orange juice and a few bites of mashed up chicken pot pie. I've thrown out  bowls and bowls  of oatmeal and yogurt and puddings that she won't eat. She just won't open her mouth.
All her little needlepoints she worked so hard on every year are on shelves and hanging on the tree- now she can't even open her hands. They're clenched up and her one fingernail is dead.
I want to sing O Tennanbaum. She doesn't speak.

I know I've said every Christmas that this would be her last. We celebrated every year like it was, trying to make it special for us and for her.
And this Christmas will be the same. We'll celebrate it like it's her last, and try to make it special for us and for her.
If you think please pray for my mom. Watching her mom not eat has been really hard for her. For some reason I feel really detached and unemotional about it- and maybe that's just the Lord's grace cause I've got to deal with it, but for my mom it's been really wearing. Please and Thanks!



christmas 09 (ignore the date on the photo...)



Christmas '10



christmas 2011



she still smiles <3

Well, January 2011 will mark 3 years. yup. 3 years of staying home with grandmom, hospital visits, insanity, and of the opportunity to see such an incredible side of God's character. His grace, His mercy, His compassion, His love for us that isn't about what we can actually do for Him.
God looked down on my grandmom and knew what it would take for her to come to know Him. How she needed to be humbled before she could accept His wonderful gift of salvation. I never imagined, growing up and praying ever night before I went to bed, "Lord, I lift up nanny and poppy..." praying for their souls to be saved. Praying for them to come to church with us. I never imagined that I would one day be pushing her wheelchair into church on Sundays, reading the Bible with her, listening to her pray before meals. I'll quote her, she'd "been apprehended!"- BAM!- God's grace... Waterfalls of it. On a woman who can offer Him literally nothing. What an incredible incredible God I serve.

This last year has been so different.
My grandmom turned 80, fell and broke her hip, had surgery (had a stroke), went to rehab, broke her femur, had surgery, came home, had a heart attack, came home and has been hospital free since July. And I'm not saying that her quality of life has been great since then, because it hasn't. She is mostly in her hospital bed, in her bedroom, watching Turner Classic Movies, but every so often we have a few moments of loveliness.
God spoiled us on Christmas.
Grandmom was just oh so good. She wasn't sane, don't get my wrong.
But she was happy. not agitated. pleasant. and able to enjoy Christmas. It was great.
and it wasn't just Christmas morning. It was Christmas eve, Christmas morning, Christmas day, and Christmas day eve. Spoiled. 
It was probably the loveliest Christmas I ever had. Thank you Jesus!