10:12:00 PM

The blanket I won from (aka my dear friend Jarreau's blog)
So the last few days have been such a refreshing time. Ever since Monday night I've been doing a lot better. The guilt really hasn't shown up, which I'm truly thankful for. Tuesday morning I got up and read this encouragement from the Lord through Susannah Spurgeon-
Free Grace and Dying Love: Morning Devotions by Susannah Spurgeon
Perfect timing (even though it's my third or fourth read through of this little treasure). Also Chantale had leant me a little book called God's Promises Day by Day and Tuesday morning's was by Peter Wallace:
"Good and upright is the Lord; therefore He teaches sinners in the way"Psalm 25:8 
Shame is a deep dark wound that scars our hearts. When we feel shame we are vulnerable to attacks and then to deeper shame.
Rather than get caught up in shame's downward spiral, we can stop the process by lifting up our damaged hearts to the Lord. We can look to Him for release from the past hurts and relief from the present troubles. Look to the One you can trust for mercy and acceptance. 
Anyway, those were just a couple continued encouragements from the Lord that He sees me, my hurt, pain, grief. I'm so thankful.
I also got to rest since I had off on Wednesday and it felt so good to just sleep for twelve hours, clean up my house and my room, and to get some rest (though I didn't get to really rest cause I went straight to our ESL class- which I need to update about too).

And tonight I finally saw October Baby which I've been wanting to see forever and had tickets to a free screening (but it ended up being the night my sister got her appendix out so I couldn't go). Anyway, it's a Christian movie, so I'm never going into it expecting an Academy Award winning film or anything, but for being a Christian film- the movie was very well done. Of course there's the corny scenes and awkward Christian homeschooling lines every so often, but I was impressed for the most part with the making of the film. And I cried, of course. It's worth seeing and supporting- and my favorite part about it is that Gianna Jessen (my hero/role model at life) sings in the film and is actually the inspiration for the directors for the
Anyway- if you don't know anything at Gianna, google her- she's an amazing Christian/ pro-life activist/ an actual abortion survivor (as in her mother tried to abort her but she survived).
I think taking care of my grandmom has made me value life more than ever. Every life is beautiful is the campaign basically behind the film, and I think more than every the value of life is truly at stake in this generation and culture. A baby in the womb is not considered life; and having taken care of my grandmom and dealing with geriatric doctors and the healthcare field, I've discovered how many people don't consider the elderly as worthy of life either. It's scary. Where do the lines get drawn? If you haven't watched this documentary I would totally recommend it.
Life is so valuable- my life is so valuable- your life is so valuable- that God send His only Son to die on a cross- that we could have eternal life.

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