January

11:38:00 PM

Well, it's almost over. I feel like these last 31 days have taken a year to live. Longest month ever. There's a part of me that feels like grandmom died a long time ago- I cannot believe it hasn't even been a month. Then there's this other part that feels like I was just laying in her bed yesterday. I miss it like crazy. It hits me at the weirdest times- usually pulling up to the house. Coming home after church. The routine was always, come into the house and go right into grandmom's room. "Hello beautiful," I'd say. Another life ago. After dinner it'll hit me- I was so used to heading right upstairs to feed her. I just miss her.

But the Lord is good- still such joy. And I haven't been overwhelmed by sorrow yet. Little waves crash, sometimes they look big coming from the shore, but they always come in small and go back out. One anchor= Jesus. One hope= Jesus. One sustainer= Jesus. So thankful.

Anyway, my eyes are fixed ahead. That's where my life is. I can't dwell in what my life was, or how things used to be. It's not my life anymore. Everything is ahead- eternity, Jesus, grandmom...the plans He has for me. He's laid such a foundation in my life- the Rock- Jesus. Just like grandmom, Jesus made me His own.

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,  I press on toward the goal for  the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. " Philippians 3:12-14

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