A Life After Death

10 Things my Grandmom does that drive me absolutely bonkers:

1.Strips her clothes off! (ugh!!!!!)
2. Demands to go home (to Bebra, Germany)
3. Demands us to let her drive home (to Bebra, Germany)
4. Throws all her blankets off.
5. Rips her diapers off.
6. Doesn't poop.
7. Does poop. (usually right after I put her a clean diaper- of course)
8. Demands that she can walk home (and rips her blankets and clothes off to do it- even though her hip is not in joint) to her husband (who is dead)
9. Spits our her food when she's fiesty. (or throws it up all over herself)
10. Spills her coffee (the grossly thickened coffee) all over herself right after she's dressed cleaned up.

10 Things my Grandmom does that make it all worth it:

1. Tells me she loves me (even though she calls me Cindy)
2. Talks to me in German (Eshliebedish <3!!!)
3. Sings "You are my Sunshine" (but her version usually involves some variation about blue skies and dreaming that I climbed into bed or some new made up lyrics)
4. Sings "Happy Birthday Dear Cindy" (to me!)
5. Tells me she wants to "kiss me up"
6. Tells me, in German, that "I love the sun, the moon, and the stars, but most of all I love you"
7. When she really likes something I feed her and wants to eat like a million of it ("That's the best thing I have ever eaten- I haven't eaten in days!"
8. When I climb into bed and she snuggles me up
9. When she prays "Dear Lord" (music to my ears)
10. When she thinks her teddy bear is a baby and kisses it up


I'm sure I'll have a millions more things to add (to both of these lists)

"But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God." 1 Tim 5:4

"If any believing woman has relatives who are widows, let her care for them. Let the church not be burdened, so that it may care for those who are truly widows." 1 Tim 5:16

I love when the Lord confirms we are right where He wants us to be- and it pleases Him!

Well, the Lord must know that I am a visual learner- and oh how I wish I was not *shudder*
Don't you love poopie diapers in the morning?
Anyway- I am going to keep this as un-graphic as possible while still getting that point across (and if you still can't get the point than maybe you need to spend a week at my house and the Lord will have to teach this to you the way He taught me!)

My grandmom made a mess last night in her pants. My grandmom tried to clean the mess up herself. My grandmom made the mess ten times messier than the mess originally was. I had to clean the mess up first thing this morning. (I'm just so thankful for the Lord's grace for the moment on mornings like this!)

Spiritual application: I sin. I try to clean up my own sin. I make more of a mess cleaning up my own sin than there originally was. God comes and cleans me up. Praise Him!

If my grandmom has just hollered to me I would have come and cleaned her up (I've become a light sleeper when it comes to her voice). It would have been simple. But no- she had to try to do it herself and made it such a bigger mess than it had to be.

When I dirty myself, all I really have to do is call out to my God and He will come and oh so gently wash me up. Why do I forget this all the time.

And here is the clincher-
My grandmom was pretty ashamed of herself (it was really sad!!!) for getting so dirty, but once I cleaned her up- she still thought she was dirty!
I keep having to convince her that she's clean!!!!
It's insane. And that's when the Lord really spoke to my heart. I still think I'm dirty all the time- but God has made me clean! How freeing! And God is such a better cleaner up of our dirt than I am!
It was a beautiful lesson (in a gross, dirty, poopy way, you know?)

Paul was right- our old life is rubbish- literally dung. And how foolish we are to hold onto it. How disgusting we are to hold onto it!
Praise the Lord He is able to wash us white as snow!
Psa 51:7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Eze 36:25 Then will I sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean: from all your filthiness, and from all your idols, will I cleanse you.
Mat 8:3 And Jesus put forth [his] hand, and touched him, saying, I will; be thou clean. And immediately his leprosy was cleansed.
Jhn 13:10 Jesus saith to him, He that is washed needeth not save to wash [his] feet, but is clean every whit: and ye are clean, but not all.
Jhn 15:3 Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you.

Grandmom quote of the Day: (speaking about a song)- "That is a clean ballad"

God just is letting this woman keep living. goodness! But it's been great so far- well other than the mini heart attack and all that jazz (maybe she just likes chilling in the ICU?) and we're getting back into the swing of things, and God is ever faithful and providing all I need for every day.
There are certain things I said I would never be able to do in regards to grandmom *cough*poopiediaper*cough* but do you know what- I did not have to do those things before, so I didn't have the strength, and now I have to do those things and just at the very moment when I need the strength the most, God provides. Kind of like Corrie ten Boom's story of her father and the train ticket...something like that.
And sometimes I think I'm doing such a great job (when really it's literally just God doing everything and me walking alongside of Him with a little yoke around my neck!) and I get all proud and then God let's me try to do it and I totally fail within the first ten seconds and I remember that it really truly is all of Him. It's like when I was younger and would watch my siblings in the daycare before school. Jesse was probably like 2 and sometimes we would walk around the sanctuary in the morning pushing his stroller. And we'd tilt it and push it together, but really it was all me and I would let him think he was doing something. Then he would get really mad and try to make me leave so he could do it all himself. and I'd let go, and of course he could not do it on his own and would get frustrated and then I'd help again. It was funny, but really that's how it is with us and God.
Jesus said, "Come unto me, all [ye] that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls." matt 11:28-30 and it's true

Anyway- I'm sorry I've been meaning to update but I'm still not going to update because I'm tired and it's eleven at night and I have to get up tomorrow and have grandmom washed and dressed before the speech therapist comes at 9:30 to hopefully work the poor dear off her baby food and thickened liquid diet and I just cannot wait for the day when I'm no longer pureeing meat!!!
But anyway I wanted to stop in to say "so far so good"- God has never yet failed me in giving me the strength to take care of the little old lady and I'm just going to keep expecting Him to supply all of my needs. I think she's actually easier to take care of the way she is right now (as in- not having to chase her down all of the time- her chilling in bed and getting wheeled wherever I want her to be has actually been pretty sweet!)
Good night!

When i was in highschool, I would go down to my youth pastors' office just about everyday crying about how much I just hated my family and COULD NOT love them, even though i knew God was calling me to love them. And then I'd cry about how I could not do one thing or another God was calling me to- my inability literally would flood my eyes. I think I spent half of highschool drowning in it.
And over and over I've seen God overcome these mountains in my life. Things I literally said were impossible- God was able to do-

"Who art thou, O Great Mountain? Before Zerubabel you shall become a plain: and he shall bring forth the headstone thereof with shoutings, crying, 'Grace, Grace, unto it'" Zech 4:7

I've definitely written on here about this verse, but more and more God is revealing the truth in it to my heart in deeper and more powerful ways.

Mountains are huge. Most of my mountains in my life have only been hills, but if you know me, I consider every hill a mountain, because I am very dramatic
Every literal mountain I have tried to climb has brought me to a place where I think I am going to die, and midway decide to quit (which you really cannot do when you are in the middle of the woods with a large group). Every figurative mountain in my life, usually brings me to a place where I think I am going to die, and midway I decide to quit. I'm a quitter. God knows, I am a quitter. But He doesn't let me be- His grace is so beautiful.
Every single time it is by the grace and only ever by the grace of the Lord that I have overcome any mountain. It has never been my own strength, and that is why it is so important for there to be that corner stone that declares that it is only by the grace of the Lord.

Can I tell you, I forget this every single time a mountain comes around in my life though.

One of the big mountains in my life lately has been this weird little bought of social anxiety.
I've kind of just been panicking lately at the idea of hanging out with friends, or going to college and career, or going to social outings that I can't control. It's not going to the store or anything like that. I'm fine hanging out with cousins, or my family, or going to the nursing home, but for like the last month I've been super hesitant about any outing that may involve intimacy with friends.
And I finally went to college and career the other night trying to just get over my fears, because I know that sitting at home and letting my fears overcome me is never going to glorify God. And I know it was right and everything. So I thought, maybe this is just a little test of if I am going to obey God even when I don't feel like it- because He has called me not to forsake "the gathering of ourselves together" and it's important to be in fellowship.

But I was visiting with my old youth pastor the other day and he reminded me of something I really had forgotten.
God is intimate.

God is not all about me just obeying Him all the time. That is not His goal- to have a bunch of people running around obeying Him all the time. He's not like that. He doesn't just allow us to go through things to see if we're going to obey Him or not.

It's all about us knowing Him more. Being closer to Him. Getting to know the God of the Universe. My Father. My Friend. He loves for me to draw near to Him. And all of the mountains, all of the trials, all of the fears I face, are so that I will draw near to Him, seek His face, Cling to Him, Delight in Him...

He desires me to draw near to Him. I'm so thankful I serve a Great God who is alive, and is involved in the very intimate parts of my life.

And God has been showing me lately that He is so able. He is able to do all of the things that I cannot do. And that doesn't mean I should just be all like, 'This thing is too hard, I'll just let God take care of it'- He desires me to run to Him, to "take [His] yoke upon [me] and learn of [Him] for [He] is meek and lowly of heart, and [I] will find rest for [my] soul" (matt 11:29)- to lean on Him for my strength. To wait on Him. He doesn't desire me to just to "know" that He is able but to truly experience and take part in His ability.

One of the reasons I've been anxious about meeting with my friends or meeting for fellowship is that I'm just scared that I'm going to show up and not know what to say to people, not have anything spiritually to offer people, not be real, and that God will not meet me there. But as much as I know all that is not true because my Bible tells me so, I'm not having to lean on the Lord to know experiencially that it is not true. He is proving it to me. He is revealing it to my heart.
And I know there is still more He is going to show me. And I know that much of what He is showing me is going to be when I am still before the Lord. When I am seeking His face. I haven't been still in a very long time- I stopped expecting God to show me things intimately. But it's sweet now to enter in, to come before a God who desires me, who delights in me, and who I can delight in too.


And so on the Grandmom front- she was supposed to come home today, but the nursing home was able to push it back till next Wednesday. I'm not super sure how I feel about this. I mean, we still have a lot to get ready for her coming home (such as- get a hospital bed, finish cleaning her room out, etc), but I miss her, and have been promising her all week she was coming home today and she seemed really happy about it. She's been actually super awesome lately. She's been talking a lot more and awake and moving her hands more.
And when I was cleaning off her chin the other day she went to bite my hand.
And I was like, "what are you doing?"
Then she said, "I'm pretending to bite you"
Me: "What?"
Grandmom: "I'm teasing you" and she just smiled and was proud of herself for being so funny. It was just a very sweet moment to see some personality in her, and not just a crazy 80 year old woman, living in a hospital bed, going in a diaper, and eating baby food. She's still there and I just cannot believe it!
And I'm also a little apprehensive about her staying because her neighbor told me that the weekend nurse was mean and she had been glad my grandmom was getting out before the weekend. And now my grandmom's staying in!
God is so cool though because her neighbor is a believer and she'd been praying that grandmom would be saved, and it was cool to just be able to tell her that grandmom does know the Lord and to be able to talk about His faithfulness to her! It's just so comforting knowing the Lord put someone in the room with her that knows Him to just pray for her and care about her. He's a good, faithful God, isn't He?

I basically had an emotional breakdown at the hospital today. I think I'm losing my mind...yikes! I cannot even tell you what it really was about. Basically, if I didn't mention, my grandmom got moved out of ICU finally on Tuesday night and has been on a telemetry (monitoring) floor since then. Anyway, I found out that her primary doctor discharged her last night (not 24 hours since she'd been out of ICU) and that I needed to pick a nursing home for her to get transported to today.

um, so anyway, needless to say, I started balling my eyes out. Actually, it isn't needless to say, because I don't think normal people cry when you tell them their grandmother is getting out of the hospital.

But honestly, I just wasn't ready to have to deal with nursing homes already. I think I was traumatized by our last experience and they idea made me so stressed and emotional and I'm just so exhausted (even though I sleep all the time) that I just cracked. Thank goodness my grandmom has a private room because I think they might have locked me up if anyone saw me crying.

SO anyway, I called my mom and she and I realized they cannot discharge her without speaking to her ortho and cardiologist and them giving the go ahead. So I talked to the nurse and she agreed and I actually had to leave for Coatesville in the middle of all this. But I got a call when I was at the Dollar Store buying glow bracelets for our kids (our verse was "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path", cute huh?), the social worker from the hospital called and said they were not discharging her today (thank God!)

So she'll probably be out tomorrow or something, but I honestly could just not deal with it today. I woke up super depressed for some reason and could not shake it, but things got better after my emotional breakdown and going to Coatesville always helps and I love praying on the way up and having fellowship and serving the Lord with everything He gives me (because honestly, I literally was so fried I had nothing to offer those kids today)...

That's probably why something happens every Thursday...two week ago I locked myself out of my car like three minutes because I had to leave for Coatesville, then last week my grandmom had to go to the ER for this whole femur deal, and now this week emotional breakdown- God needs to show me that I'm weak every Thursday so His strength can be made complete. He's good. He's so good.

Anyway- please pray for wisdom with choosing a new nursing home for rehab and please pray for strength and just peace, I need it so much.

Also, please pray for Coatesville, one of our kids died last night in a car accident (well, he stole a car and crashed it when he was being chased by the cops), his name was Rasheem, but they all called him Mooch. I didn't know him, but he was related to some of our afternoon kid's club kids...that city needs Jesus so badly.

Sorry about how confusing that last post is- I'm sure it makes no sense to any of you, but as much as this is a blog to update everyone about my and my Grandmom's lives, it really is an online journal of sorts- I look back on these entries more than anyone else, trying to recall things, and looking at what God has done in my own life these last couple years.

So anyway, basically, something happened to my Grandmom at the nursing home between Monday night and Tuesday morning and we don't know what it was, but it was bad enough that she needed 3/4 of her femur replaced and her hip re-put back in. And honestly, I've realized something about myself. I think I am one of those people if I ever was abused or raped or something, would actually blame myself, or make excuses for my abuser. I always thought it didn't make sense for people to do that, but I honestly just am quick to trust people and believe their word.

But honestly, everyone can't be trusted. There are cruel people in this world. And there are people who maybe aren't necessarily cruel, but care more about themselves and covering their butts than that a little 80 year old woman is lying in a bed for 48 hours with a broken femur. That is just wrong.

But I kept making excuses for the nursing home yesterday. My mom was so upset and annoyed and frustrated and angry. She wanted to go right up to the nursing home and scream at them for allowing this to happen and be covered up. But in the back of my mind, I really thought it must have been something my grandmom did to herself, or that happened at the hospital.

But when her ortho doctor spoke with us today and told us how bad of a brake it was and how he really didn't know if she'd survive this operation and how painful this was going to be for my grandmother and the length of rehab...I finally was mad.

I was mad because they betrayed my trust. I really thought they were my friends at the nursing home- my blog does not lie and you can look two posts before this at how happy I was and settled. And there are good people at the nursing home- I really believe her therapists did not know and were given some story about the abductor pillow from someone who was trying to cover it up. But there are also some lying, deceitful, hurtful, selfish, awful people there who only care about themselves. And it makes me sick.

I've honestly been so nauseous today over it. That someone could do that. That people would truly lie to me like that. It's awful!

But honestly, I've definitely learned to appreciate the scriptures that speak of enemies (since I've really never had any before this) and that speaks of betrayal and how the Lord is the God who will bring justice on the last day, and He is our avenger...I never really needed God to "avenge" me before. And I'm so thankful to learn to need God in a new way- a new aspect of God's incredible personality to know and love. I'm so glad He is my avenger- because He is the God who sees (El Roi) and one day those who hurt my grandmom will stand before the God of the Universe with no excuse, and oh I do pray that they would have the blood of Jesus Christ to cover their sins, because I would hate to stand before God, having harmed His precious daughter on that day and not have my sins cleansed white as snow and my name written in the Lamb's book of life...

And honestly, I am exhausted- a. because I really believed my grandmother was going to die today and b. because this betrayal I can literally feel all the way into my bones. It just hurt so much. It hurts that I cannot go there again and see the people who I did and still do trust like Sally and Mary and Marie and both of the Johns, and even the residents who I now worry about like Maureen and Art and Joe and Theresa...I'm sad. I'm really sad because I loved seeing them everyday and I really cared about them.

well anyway- if I didn't write this yet, my Grandmom is alive! ha- she's in the ICU for the night and needs some more blood so she was pretty pale and sleeping when we saw her, but after 3 and 1/2 hours of surgery who wouldn't be? So we'll see- we've got a long road ahead, but I follow a faithful and Good Shepherd who will never leave or forsake me. I'm just so glad! It's good to know my grandmom is not alone in the hospital...

anyway, the David knows betrayal that is so much deeper than I'd ever know, and He did not know betrayal as deep as my precious Lord has known, but I'll leave you with a few of David's words on the topic:

Psalm 5
To the choirmaster: for the flutes. A Psalm of David.

Give ear to my words, O Lord;
consider my groaning.

Give attention to the sound of my cry,
my King and my God,
for to you do I pray.

O Lord, in the morning you hear my voice;
in the morning I prepare a sacrifice for you[fn1] and watch.

For you are not a God who delights in wickedness;
evil may not dwell with you.

The boastful shall not stand before your eyes;
you hate all evildoers.

You destroy those who speak lies;
the Lord abhors the bloodthirsty and deceitful man.

But I, through the abundance of your steadfast love,
will enter your house.
I will bow down toward your holy temple
in the fear of you.

Lead me, O Lord, in your righteousness
because of my enemies;
make your way straight before me.


For there is no truth in their mouth;
their inmost self is destruction;
their throat is an open grave;
they flatter with their tongue.

Make them bear their guilt, O God;
let them fall by their own counsels;
because of the abundance of their transgressions cast them out,
for they have rebelled against you.

But let all who take refuge in you rejoice;
let them ever sing for joy,
and spread your protection over them,
that those who love your name may exult in you.

For you bless the righteous, O Lord;
you cover him with favor as with a shield.

(my grandmom always says she is allergic to peanuts but she just doesn't like peanut butter because during the war they always fed it to her for nutrients!)

Wow...sorry for not updating, I guess I'm good at that! But I'll try to make it sound like I've been really busy so that I'll have an excuse for not updating, okay?

Let me go back a little because I've absolutely LOVED God's hand in this entire expedition. He is so faithful and good and the provider of all that I need, exactly when I need it, and I'm not just saying that because someone told me it, but because I've lived it.

So God's been dealing with me in the area of surrender. But He's been doing it for awhile now and I was getting a little squirmy because I really didn't want to surrender to the things He had asked me to do. But I was getting to this point where I was dry and His voice was getting so quiet and I just could not hear Him anymore and I just knew...I just knew it was my own fault. I had said "no" to Him so many times when He'd asked me to do something, that He was going to just wait and let me actually miss His voice and His leading and guiding until I was so sick of myself I decided to just do what He said...

Well anyway, fast forward to Wednesday April 7th, when I finally do just obey God in something He specifically called me to do. Why be vague? A couple years ago when my grandfather was dying I had written some nasty things about my aunts and cousins on this blog. My cousin read it read it I blew my testimony. It was horrible. I deleted the hurtful post, gave my cousin a quick apology, and then never mentioned or spoke of it again. And of course, I asked God to forgive me. He was faithful to forgive, but God had so much more for me in that situation and my pride was too hurt and I was too ashamed to even imagine Him wanting to bring that back up again...

but of course there was His still, small, constant voice speaking to me to contact my cousin and ask forgiveness and make reconciliation. Two years later, I still did not consider it even an option. Until I knew I just needed to obey God, so with the encouragement and accountability of a new, lovely friend, I wrote my cousin a little fb message just expressing what was going on in my life at that time, the fact that I was dealing with sin in my life then, and that I did not want my actions to reflect God, and how He was urging me to reconcile. I was so nervous, but filled with peace at the knowledge that this was totally His will.

And my cousin wrote back almost immediately that she had forgiven me long ago and barely remembers it, but the peace I felt after that was so huge. It was like a weight was lifted from my shoulders, a burden I had placed and let lie there for two long years. And God knew that this was best, but of course I always forget that I follow a Loving God who does not want to harm me.

Immediately after that I let my friend know that I had obeyed God, thanked her for her prayers, and asked prayer for just the warfare I really felt was going to follow this act of obedience.

And what happened next I wouldn't call warfare, but a trial for sure, but a trial that I absolutely knew was in the hands of the Author and Perfecter of my faith, and the Author and Perfecter of my grandmom's faith. And So I went to church that night, leaving a hyper grandmom in the hands of a crazy family. The study that night was for me, for sure. It was the part when Jesus healed the invalid by the pool of Bethesda. And our youth pastor was just touching on when Jesus asked the man if he wanted to be healed, and the man just started making excuses for why he could not be healed- and I knew I did that all the time. I make excuses to the God of the universe, the Creator, Healer, Lover of my soul for why I cannot do something, when He's not asking me if "I" can do something, but if He can do something for me!

So anyhow, after the study I get the four texts I mentioned in the previous post, run up to the hospital and deal with the little old crazy lady with the broken hip, who I lovingly call Grandmom.

Anyway, she gets surgery the following Saturday morning, a full hip replacement, since she went a shattered the whole thing! But after she came up to her room we started to notice she was crooked to her left side.

And I was just thought she had a stiff neck and would try to lift it up. I didn't notice that her hands were also all curled up and stiff. Neither did the nursing staff, obviously, because they let her go to a rehab/ nursing home to begin rehab the following Wednesday. We had to pick a nursing home, which was a little stressful for me, but we just checked out two and God gave me no peace about one and full peace about the other and so we absolutely love the one she is at! Anyway, the therapists had a doctor look at her and figured she'd had a stroke about a week before (the date of the surgery) but it was just a small one she's not so crooked and she's progressing day by day. I'm best friends with all the nurses, janitors, therapists, and old people and I'll write about all of my adventures there in another not so long post.

see much better!!!

and here's her room and the shelf with pictures and plant i set up to make it more cheerful!

I realized I actually use this blog to go back and figure out my grandmom's medical history sometimes and so therefore I thought it necessary to report here that grandmom broke her hip yesterday and needs a hip replacement. It's a really bad break (or is it brake? which one is right?). Her doctor said her a ninety seven year old came in with a brake (or break) not as bad as her brake is and her family opted not to do the surgery.
She fell out of her chair yesterday (I told my dad to watch her, for the record!) after I left for Weds. Night Bible Study (which ironically was a message I really needed to hear and therefore I know God had me at church- no regrets)
So my parents took her to the hospital. I turned on my phone after church because Darla was laughing at her texts and I wanted to be cool like her and I was all like "I got four texts!" but then they were all "Call mom- ER" "Grandmom fell" "Emergency" "We need you" and not funny texts at all...boo
So poor grandmom last night was all "I'm to blame, I'm to blame" (and she was to blame...I told her to stop getting up all day) but she was just "I want to ball my eyes out" and very dramatic telling us that "Thank God we are not alone" and "I love you, you are my love" and we sang a little rendition of "You are my sunshine to pass the time away"
she's very loving during her near death experiences
all right
updates to follow
t

My grandmom is 80 today! Who ever thought she'd make it? not me....
Happy birthday grandmom!

So I've never really used that "next blog" button at the top of Blogger to check out other blogs- I mean, every blog I read is stimulating enough, but since it's 12:06 at night and I have a paper to write, it would make perfect sense that since no one has updated their blog in the last hour I'm going to have to find different one's to procrastinate by reading...
Well, the next ten blogs that it led me to were all of these parenting blogs- like for all of these mom's who have so much free time on their hands raising their three toddlers to blog and I was almost mocking them when I had this revelation...
I am them...
but with my 79 year old toddler...yikes
I need a life...

Fecal- derived from the latin "faeces" meaning "dregs" definied as "the most undesirable part"...we get the word "feces" from it...
Immunochemical- Describing the chemistry of antigens, antibodies, and their relation to each other.
Kit-A set of articles or implements used for a specific purpose.
___________________________________________________________________

Fecal Immunochemical Kit- fancy name for A little envelope containing a child's blue paintbrush, little waste bags, a "test card," and a return envelope...in which I am supposed to supply a sample of my grandmom's poo poo. Yes. My job for this week is to rub the brush across my grandmom's poop and wipe it on a little card, throw it in an envelope, stamp it, and mail it to some doctor for testing. Poor mail carrier who doesn't know what I am putting into thier hands.

I do this because I love my grandmom. This is my new life. Three months ago I was tromping around England, drinking tea, and being a regular old college student. Now, I spend my days trying to convince my grandmother that my father is her son-in-law, and not the president, and my mother, her daughter, is not "the boss's wife" (sometimes our house is Pizza Hut...confusing, I know).

It really isn't that bad, and for the most part entertaining. My days can be exciting, filled with physical therapists who sell me girl scout cookies, to driving my grandmother around the block at night so that we can trick her into thinking we took her "home" (she's lived in the house for fifty years and thinks that we are tricking her by taking everything from her house and putting it in this other house- I know, we are sly, aren't we?)

After four months of Bible College in England, I knew that I was supposed to come home and serve my family, applying everything I had learned. My family had already been dealing with not only the deterioration of my grandmother's mind (she has dementia and a low sodium condition for which she was hospitalized for two months- but that is a whole nother story), but with her husband, my grandfather, being hospitalized since November after a heart attack, triple bypass surgery, and then a mulititude of complications that left him on a breathing tube and sedated until January. He is only now beginning to recover. So I know that my place for now is at home, showing the love of Jesus there, which isn't always easy, but it's been a learning and growing experience already, so we'll see if by the end of this season of my life I am a mature adult, or if I end up being driven crazy and living in a mad house...right now the latter is more probable, but we'll see!